i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
