Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
did i just pee glitter
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
