sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
