and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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