Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
