things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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