I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
