He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
