If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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