my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
