Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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