If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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