absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think your dad took our porno
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
