I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
