Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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