we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
