haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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