am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
