I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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