I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
