isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
