I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We got so high we made milksteak
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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