i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
