She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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