I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
