I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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