After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
