On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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