I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
