does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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