this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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