I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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