We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
17 year olds will be the death of me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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