just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
