last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
