2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dignity is for republicans.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Alive.
So much puke
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
