So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
