you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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