Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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