why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize