i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
