I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
