Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
