he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
