Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
