Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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