everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
