that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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