yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
