wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
